Don't Look Now but...

Excuse my double post today - but this is truly exciting and maddening and awesome.

An article came out today arguing that by observing dark matter, we have determined the fate of our cosmos - and that we have inadvertently caused the end of of the known universe.

This works because of the laws of quantum physics - basically everything on a subatomic level exists in a state of possibility. Basically a subatomic particle might be an apple, an orange or a diesel submarine, but it is also none of those things until you observe it. Then, let's say you observe it as an orange - it will forever be an orange. (As a super tangential side note, proponents of the multiple universe idea would say that in other universes that particle will exist as an apple or a sub.)

So... what scientists are now arguing is that dark matter was, like everything in a quantum state, not a "sure thing" until we observed it - and by observing it we have now made it fact.

And now the universe will decay and expand until it grows cold and dies.

We as humans seem to have a whole lot of power. Doesn't it give you a little rush knowing how much of the universe seems to be determined by our ability to observe it? Kinda lends to the idea that each of us are gods in our own right - creating on the go.

Einstein's God

If you're not exploring iTunesU yet, you should be. LOVING public radio - been listening to a podcast called "Speaking of Faith with Krista Tippett". Last night I listened to their segment on Einstein's Faith. It was really cool hearing Einstein's words describing his religion as being a cosmic spirituality.. and how it was more of a reverence for the intelligence, beauty and mystery of the universe. I also thought it was interesting how Einstein could not believe in a god who interfered with our deeds or who passed judgment on beings of his own creation. SO with him there...

Another interesting snippit (I highly encourage you to hear the podcast if this interests you): they were talking about how there is now room for god in science, in quantum physics - that because of the randomness of events in quantum physics - the rolling of the dice - that it was possible to conceive of god having a hand in the outcome of events... that there were those currently arguing that God is in fact loading the dice.

But when one gets to an indeterministic universe, if you allow quantum physics, then there is some sort of lassitude in the operation of these laws. There are interstices having to do with quantum certainty into which, if you want, you could insert the hand of God. So, for example, if we think of a typical quantum process as being like the roll of a die — you know, "God does not play dice," Einstein said — well, it seems that, you know, God does play dice. Then the question is, you know, if God could load the quantum dice, this is one way of influencing what happens in the world, working through these quantum uncertainties. Now, some people certainly have pushed that idea. John Polkinghorne is one who's spoken about it. Bob Russell for the Center for Theology and Natural Sciences in Berkeley likes that point of view of God not in any sense usurping the laws of physics, but working within the inherent lassitude that quantum physics provides. And it's a possible way of God to gain cause or purchase in the world without changing any of the laws that we know.
- Physicist and astrobiologist Paul Davies from the transcript of Einstein's God on American Public Media, public radio

I still don't know what I think about a deity - but I do know that there was an interesting remark about how some scientists dismiss the magic of the existence of life and how Paul Davies had a great thing to say about that:

And if you imagine playing the role of God and having some sort of machine in front of you with a whole lot of knobs, and you twiddle the knobs and change things — twiddle one knob, make the electron a bit heavier; twiddle another knob and make the strong nuclear force a bit stronger — you soon discover that you have to fine-tune those settings to extraordinary precision in order for there to be life. And the question is, what are we to make of that? And, you know, really, these things, at the end of the day, boil down largely to a matter of personal choice, because we can't really test either. Or certainly not in our current state of knowledge.

Memory Backwards...

I love stories of synchronicity... so here's one for you.

I'm at this folk/rock concert seeing my favourite lil Scottish troubadour in a large warehouse filled with 600+ bodies. My lil folk singer, halfway through the set, introduces her next song by telling us how it came to be.

She read this piece in a magazine, a Vancouver-based arts rag - and it moved her so much that she contacted the author to ask permission to use parts of it in a song. The man she contacted was thrilled, told her that he had in fact been working on another piece, a screenplay, based on that work and that she had come around at the perfect time - "help me finish it" he said. She gladly obliged and wrote a beautifully melancholy song that shared the piece's title.

Fast track to a yesterday, nearly a year later - said artiste is now on tour promoting her new album, which features the melancholy song I spoke of. I have been listening to it constantly - and know every word. I attend the concert. The chanteuse introduces the song and suddenly I realize what's happening. The man she's speaking of is not just "some writer" - he is my old mentor and university instructor from my school days on the other side of the country. I haven't seen this man in 4 years, but have thought about him constantly and have been meaning to email him. Voila - he's been brought to me!

So I find him in the crowd and head over to catch up.

I have no words for how great I think these moments are - when the universe reminds you that it's not as big as it seems and that we're all connected.

Love it!

Spirit of Giving

It's snowing today, a lot, our first snow of the year... and I'm starting to feel a little giddy about upcoming xmas festivities.

That's all it takes - just a little snow, some xmas tunes and I'm right in there, ready to get giving!

Speaking of, I'm really excited about Kiva.org. It's a site that facilitates microfinancing. If you're not familiar with it, it's the act of giving small loans (yes, loans which are in fact repaid 99% of the time) to entrepreneurs in third world countries who need a loan for their business - raising goats, selling vegetables at market or making bricks.

Each loan has a picture of the entrepreneur, a description of their business and how they plan to use the loan so you know exactly how your money is being spent - and you get updates letting you know how the business is going. The best part is, when the entrepreneur pays back their loan you get your money back - and Kiva's loans are managed by microfinance institutions on the ground who have a lot of experience doing this, so you can trust that your money is being handled responsibly.

Although I had never heard about it until yesterday, it's been featured on Oprah, has fans and backers like Bill Clinton, Nobel Peace Prize winners and more. It's gotten more press coverage than you can imagine... And yet I somehow missed it.

So in case you're hearing about it for the first time too - I encourage you to check it out and lend your third-world "neighbour" some dough. You have a better chance of getting it back from them than you do from your actual neighbour.

Click on banner below to find out more:

Little Bit of Magic

Today is the new moon - and a good time to cast spells or set intentions for those things you would like to draw into your life.

The general rule of thumb for casting and setting intention is that if you want to get rid of some aspect of your life that is unwanted, you 'cast' as the moon is waning (getting smaller) and by the time of the new moon it should be gone. If you want to attract something into your life, cast on or just after the new moon and watch as it sprinkles into your life in greater quantities as the moon fills up, climaxing on the full moon.

So ask yourself what it is that you would like to attract more of in your life and write it down on a piece of paper. Put it somewhere, under a mirror or a candle and set your intention of attraction. By the full moon it should be more plentiful in your life.

In general, I plan to set my intention on abundance. I find it's best to ask for blanket things rather than specifics.

For the single girls out there, an easy but effective spell/intention to do is to charge your perfume with intention.

Back before I met my husband, I set my intention on a full bottle of perfume. I said that before the perfume was finished I would meet the man of my dreams. Every morning, as I sprayed it on I was reminded of my intention, and calmed by the knowing that it would be so - but that it would take time. No one goes through a bottle of perfume in a day.

Sure enough, I was about 2/3 done the bottle when I met B. The rest is history.

And that, my friends, is a little bit of magic.

Conquering Fear?

There's a sore spot deep within that I've never articulated and I don't know why. Every time I think about it, I cry. And it's not what you'd think.

The thought that brings me to tears every time I think of it? My own power.

In the 'about me' part of my Facebook profile I state that I "often wish I had superpowers". It's a funny little statement that is meant to get a laugh, but the truth is I'm mostly afraid that I might have superpowers.

There's this blockage - this thing that prevents me from really going too deep in meditation, from honing my psychic skills, from diving deeper into the esoteric. A very psychic friend once asked what I was so afraid of and why didn't I acknowledge the extent of my gifts... And I just cried.

I've dabbled in a lot of things - but from a very early age I learned that I do have powers beyond measure and it scares the shit out of me. I did a love spell with a wiccan friend in high school and the boy targeted went from blissful indifference toward me to stalking me for a year.

One time, when I was asleep, I realized that I was in a deep deep state of consciousness and I asked about my purpose here - what was it all about. I was shown a picture of my mother. It wasn't an innately scary thing but I touched something in that moment, I went somewhere or saw something I wasn't
'supposed' to see - and the fear awoke me.

It reminds me of the "Our Greatest Fear" bit by Marianne Williamson.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

I've heard that our collective purpose in this age is to conquer fear. New agers believe that this is the spiritual reason (god's purpose) for all the terrorism in the world. We, as a collective unconscious, need to master fear.

I certainly do.

After listening to a very interesting UC Berkeley Q&A podcast of David Lynch speaking about his experiences with Transcendental Meditation - which I highly recommend downloading from iTunes U (a new audio 'university' where you can download podcasts of university lectures for free) - I've been looking into TM but the course fee is a bit steep.

Anyone have any recommendations on where to start?

Multi-Dimensional Dreams

My wonderful husband had downloaded hours and hours worth of Coast to Coast AM, a radio show that addresses esoteric topics of all kinds.

Since I was on the road yesterday, driving for 4 hours from Ottawa to Toronto we popped on a broadcast from September about dreaming.

It was a great guest speaker by the name of Robert Moss, who was promoting a new book The Three "Only" Things.

What I loved about listening to the broadcast was that it reminded me of a few dreaming experiences I had forgotten about, where I clearly tapped into something other than just my own subconscious.

Robert Moss was talking about the potential of visiting other dimensions, perhaps quantum dimensions, through our dreams. And although I remain mostly skeptical, I have to say that I have had vivid dreams of visits from passed love ones that I couldn't chalk up to subconscious reverie.

But I had another dream that is particularly convincing as an argument for the soul actually traveling to another place during dream state.

But before you say 'whoa' - you have to acknowledge that it is possible for energy to be in two places at once (in the quantum reality it's the status quo - see the Double-Slit Experiment).

My dream happened thusly. I was walking toward a tall apartment building. It was at least 25-30 floors and facing a big field. As I walked toward it a woman jumped off the 7th floor. I was aware of it, but unattached to the event and I continued to walk towards the building, eventually entering and heading up to my own apartment (because in my dream I lived there). I remember being spooked that I was in the same apartment building where someone had just jumped.

When I awoke I did my best to interpret it. Was I in some kind of crisis in life where some part of me felt like jumping off the balcony? I couldn't think of anything. I wasn't in any particular crisis mode. The dream bothered me for days because I couldn't find an interpretation that suited my current situation.

Days later, however, I was on the phone with a friend who lived in my building. We were talking about what a crappy neighbourhood we lived in. He casually asked if I had heard about that prostitute/drug addict in the building kitty-corner to ours. I said no. He told me "oh yeah, she jumped from the 7th story of the building". When I asked when it had happened... You can guess. It was almost to the hour of when I dreamt it.

Interesting, isn't it.

Energy Suckage

I love today's APOD pic - it's galactic cannibalism at its best, one galaxy merging with another and the inevitable suckage of energy, billions of stars, dust and the like.

I think it a truly universal concept that all of us are familiar with. We're all guilty, one time or another of being energy suckers. It's not our fault, we're weak, reaching out, forgetting our divine nature. And when we forget that we're connected to the source of all energy, we also forget how to fill ourselves up. We lose our inspiration, we feel down on ourselves. And the only way we can think of filling back up is to take energy from the first available source - usually the first person willing to indulge us our sob story.

Now this is natural behaviour from time to time. Well, I say that it's natural but it's certainly something to work towards overcoming. Moving past this point of needing others' energy means that you find a way, in your darkest direst moment, to fill up from the source.

The problem with this is that often, when things are going badly for us, we shove our heads up our arses so far we can no longer see the light. And then we become the victims rather than the heroes of our own comic book.

Be a hero in your dark moments. Here's how.

Step 1 : Remove head from arse.

Step 2 : Remember you are a divine being. You are only light and energy inhabiting a body for a short time.

Step 3 : All you have to do to feel better is open yourself up to the universal energy and be a receptor. Be open. Resist the urge to close up shop and shut everything out. This isn't going to help you.

Step 4 : Visualize the energy pouring into you and warming you from the inside out.

Step 5 : Let go. Move on. Your life is waiting. And it's better than you can imagine.


Don't get the impression that I'm saying you shouldn't reach out for a sympathetic ear from time to time. We all need love and friendship. But getting beyond the need for others' energy means that we are truly exploring our own potential for self-healing.

Now let's see if I can listen to my own advice next time life dishes out citrus.

A real treat on Halloween

It never occurred to me until last night that there really might be something to the notion that Halloween is one of the times of the year when spirits can make contact with the physical world, and when magic is most potent.

But last night I dreamt that my friend Mikey (who passed about 3 years ago) was alive and well and sitting in a living room having a conversation with my brother (who was his best friend when he was alive). I asked him about it - as I always do - with the ever-so-subtle "aren't you dead?" question. He answered calmly that he had the day off - and was visiting.

I kissed him - for a really embarrassing amount of time. Not in a romantic way - but in a way that was the purest way of expressing my love for him. I felt somehow that by kissing him as hard as I could he would understand how much I loved and missed him.

After the kiss I had other places to be.. So I said goodbye to him and ventured off to begin another (much less important) dream.

My subconscious is such a tease.

Anyway - I do like that it happened on such an auspicious night - the night some believe the departed can touch us. At least we know that no matter how gone they are, they live on in our hearts, minds and dreams.