To revive or cast off?
It seems there's a bit of a theme to my life (and the life of those close to me) at the moment. The theme is that of staleness. What is the right thing to do when a dream job/marriage/friendship stops working for you and starts working against you?
Do you work twice as hard and try to revisit the things that made you love it in the first place? Or do you move on?
I think there's a general sense in today's day and age that things are inherently transient. Most of my generation would scoff at the notion of working one job for 30 years - and as much as we would love to believe we'll be married until a ripe old age, statistics tell us that half of us won't (at least not with our first spouse).
But just because everything these days seems to be disposable, should it be? Isn't there some good to be gotten from loyalty and hard work? After all, we can't just throw things away every time we hit a snag? Society wouldn't function... would it?
But when is enough enough? When you've been sticking it out so long that you wake up one morning to discover that you are, in fact, just stuck.
Are we doing ourselves any favours trying to cash in on a losing bet?
I'm pretty sure I know my answer... but it's something I struggle with. To stay or not to stay... that is the question.
4 comments:
This was a struggle with me for 6 years in my 16 year marriage and two years in my 10 year job.
I realized one day that I was living a past story, a fantasy of sorts of how I thought it should be opposed to how it actually was in the present. And I didn't like it. I didn't like me much either.
It's not that I made my decisions for change lightly...but there was a point I stopped kidding myself and let what I felt in my heart flow forth. I was stopping myself because to do otherwise required I take full responsibility for all the decisions regarding my personal happiness.
This I believe is much, much different than chronically throwing up our hands and walking away at each and every difficulty we encounter.
Yes, easier said then done some days. But I'm much happier. 100% happy all the time? Not hardly. *laughs* But happier than I've been in a very long time.
I think you are not "pretty sure", I think you already know. You're just in a stage of power gathering to carry it out. Trust it.
Peace
Rosa
Rosa,
Firstly, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's been in this boat. And it's inspiring to know that the grass can truly BE greener on the other side.
You're so right. I do know. And I need to trust it.
Big thanks..
Diana
My grandfather told my mother, who then told me plenty of times, "Sometimes, when you've been stuck for too long, you have to make a move no matter which direction it is. Even if it's the wrong move, it's ok because then at least you know which direction NOT to go. And if it's the right move, then great!"
I can't tell you how many times I've gotten stuck, and used that method to escape.
I agree with "the knowing" thing. I think most times we know what direction we should go, but we're afraid to take the first step, so we pile all kinds of thinking on top of our intuition in hopes of either blotting it out or changing what we know. The truth always shines through though, in one way or another. :)
Dragonfly: I love what your grandfather used to say. I'll remember that one.
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