Pain as...

I had a little thought on the way to work about the nature of pain and the purpose of it.

I've been in pain for the last 4 days - crippling pain thanks to my monthly cycle. But it's not without reason. The pain and cramping comes is a by-product of a natural body function. Pain as reminder of fertility.

Pain is good sometimes. Like this morning, when the water glass broke while my hand was in it, pain let me know that I needed to get my hand out and tend to my wound. Pain as protector.

You stub your toe. Pain, intense pain but only for a minute or so. This pain is there to remind you not to stub your toe. Pain as deterrent. Highly effective.

But physical pain is easy, easy to set aside.

Then there's the pain of heartbreak - that heart/gut wrenching pain that comes with loss of loved ones or the end of a relationship. This pain leaves you writhing on the floor with no end in sight. Pain as ...?

This pain is a little harder to understand, because it serves no actual purpose. Or does it?

I believe that we're all connected - but that through our relationships with people those ties become stronger. We absorb their energies into our own and they become an extension of our energetic bodies.

But the mind can't distinguish between the physical and energetic body. Severing an emotional/spiritual bond with a close one is as painful as severing an arm, because in a way, they have become a part of you.

By feeling the pain of loss, you're feeling through your second body, your energetic body. It reminds you that you are not a self-contained, vacuum-sealed packet of energy - your spiritual body extends in all directions, across time and space, connected still to every person who has ever touched your life and every person whose life you have affected.

Pain as reminder of our true nature.

Stormy clouds

Had a beautiful but powerful dream last night. Today's APOD Picture of the Day reminds me a little of it (see above).

I was in a pond, a natural springs in the middle of a forest. I was bathing in it - completely immersed. Great winds struck up - started blowing and blowing, bending the trees this way and that. The sky darkened, giant grey whisps of clouds rolled in and it got very cold... But I was just the observer, because somehow, the water remained unmoved by the winds - kept me warm from the cold. I was in the middle of the storm, but not affected.

It was terribly cinematic, reminding me yet again of how much I wish I could paint my dreams. They're so beautiful, so colourful, so vivid. In a way, they're so unlike reality which often smacks of drab - with only hints of true depth. Dreams are like reality intensified, injected with drama and meaning and history.

Anyway - any and all interpretations on the dream above are welcome! Thanks guys. You're the best.

Let's Think Clean

Had to share - yesterday my father and I attended a lecture by Lynne McTaggart on her work with intention. It's some seriously groovy science and I highly recommend looking into her books (links in menu on right) because they beautifully answer the questions of the skeptical mind.

Sometimes it's nice to have scientific evidence to back up all the "woo woo theories" (as she put it). Because as prone as I am to giving credence to "woo woo" - I also fancy myself something of a realist. I like hard facts just as much as I like mind-expanding theories.

This stuff has both.

Anyway - what I'm really writing about is her experiment coming up next month. The biggest human intention experiment EVER and you can participate.

The goal? To purify water - simply by intending it.

Now this sounds stupid at first. Hundreds of thousands of people staring at a picture of a vial of polluted water at the exact same time and wishing it to purify itself... But imagine the possibilities if it works! Could we clean up lakes? Oceans? Simply by united the world in directed thought?

I don't know... But I sure as hell plan to find out.

Join me and thousands of others on November 30th at 1pm (EST daylight savings time) by signing up for the experiment here:

http://intentionexperiment.com/

Big Full Moon

I was genuinely unsurprised to discover that it's not only a full moon tonight, but the closest position of the moon - no wonder my sleep has been disturbed.

Check out the info below - explains a whole slew of things you might be experiencing - bad dreams or strange dreams, bad drivers, feeling ill, not to mention all the people undoubtedly delivering babies tonight.

BIG FULL MOON: Tonight's full Moon is the biggest full Moon of 2007. It's no illusion. Some full Moons are genuinely larger than others and this one is a whopper. Why? Read the answer below.

Left: A big, bright perigee Moon. Right: A lesser apogee Moon.

The Moon's orbit is an ellipse with one side 30,000 miles closer to Earth than the other. The full Moon of Oct. 25-26 is located on the near side, making it appear as much as 14% bigger and 30% brighter than lesser full Moons we've seen earlier in 2007.

In the language of astronomy, the two ends of the Moon's orbit are called "apogee" and "perigee." Apogee is the farthest point, perigee the nearest: diagram. This week's full Moon is a "perigee Moon" with extra-high "perigean tides."

The Moon is 14% bigger, but can you actually tell the difference? It's not so easy. There are no rulers floating in the sky to measure lunar diameters. A fun experiment: Take a friend outside tonight and ask if they notice anything unusual about the Moon. Explain perigee after they answer.

Taken from SpaceWeather.com

Phenomenally Lame

I don't know how many of you tuned in for last night's premiere of "Phenomenon" but I have to say that I was SORELY disappointed.

The scoured the whole of the united states for people with psychic and/or magical talent and all they found were a couple lame illusionists?

It was old-school carnivale, parlour tricks at their best/worst. Worth maybe a dollar at a fair.

What a shame.

And really -seems like the whole thing is just another vehicle for "Mindfreak" Criss Angel. I don't think he went for two seconds without explaining how much better his tricks were - or how many thousands of tricks he had accomplished.

Yuck. I know there's better out there. Just curious as to why they chose to keep the show mediocre. Were they afraid they'd alienate the audience if they chose people with real talent who could TRULY blow your mind? Maybe.

Ask

As much as I've been in control of stopping my nightmares in their tracks, I've also been having them almost every night for a week - and it was getting to the point that I'd wake up in the morning a little less than refreshed and frankly I was a bit tired of it.

Last night I did the only thing left in my repertoire. I asked for a break.

I know it sounds weird, but I think we forget a lot of the time that a lot can be done and gotten, simply by asking. But we don't ask a lot, do we. We might hope, we might expect... But rarely do we ASK for things that we really need.

So I asked for a break. Was I speaking to my subconscious, or a higher power? I couldn't tell you. I guess I was asking anyone or anything who would listen.

And I got it. Last night was a nightmare-free zone in my head.

So now I challenge you to think about it - what do you need that you haven't asked for?

Stop!

Had a terrible sleep last night but a good thing came of it. I was in the middle of a horrifying, gruesome scene - bad things were about to happen... Like in a Saw kind of way... And I was somehow forced to watch it unfold. Until...

I became conscious of the fact that I was dreaming. This is not unusual for me. But most of the time what happens is that I'm compelled to finish watching the movie - it's the train wreck you can't help but NEED to see. And I usually stick it out - despite the fact that afterwards I always wish I hadn't.

But this time was different.

I saw the scene derail into the dark and macabre direction it was wont to go - and I caught myself in the dream. It was almost as if I asked myself why I was dreaming this. Then I just said "stop". And it stopped. And my inner screen went blank and I fell into a deep sleep.

I know all about lucid dreaming, but I have to say that I've never ventured down that path... But there is a certain appeal to controlling one's own dreams. Far too often I feel like a trapped passenger on a plane bound for hell - and as much as I don't want to go there, I don't have a choice. My attention, my brain, my subconscious has all been hijacked. And I'm forced to watch the in-flight movie.

I don't know what I believe about the source of nightmares either. My schooling forces me to examine nightmares as my subconscious' attempt to reconcile my shadow self with my light self... But a very spiritual woman and medium once explained to me that it was more than that.

She said that most of us vibrate at a very low level. Just a step up from that is the level occupied by souls on the other side who are (and I quote) "scum of the earth" spirits who are the worst of the worst, incarnate as very bad people and do very bad things. They can't touch you physically or harm you - but when you dream - if when you dream you raise your vibration just a little - they can muck with your dreams. They can implant visuals, scenarios - horrible, horrible images and scenes.

She said that I suffer from nightmares because I'm vibrating at a slightly higher level - and they can reach me.

Interesting thought. Not sure what I believe. But whatever the source - three cheers to stopping it in its tracks. Hopefully tonight will be a better sleep. Sigh.

The Bus Stop and Other Good Places to Think

There's one good thing about public transportation - it forces you to sit in yourself and wait. We don't wait that much anymore. When we want things we go and get them - and we complain if we have to wait even a few minutes for something. A few weeks ago I was at a popular coffee chain and asked for decaf (my doctor told me to lay off caffeine). The woman looked at me regretfully and said "I don't have any made." I just smiled and said "I'll wait." She was shocked and proceeded to make a pot.

Part of the internet revolution was that everything became instantly accessible. We don't have to go to the store to buy the movie that just came out. We can download it. We don't have to lug ourselves out to the bookstore - we can browse online in our pajamas, while we eat breakfast. We don't really spend much time with ourselves anymore.

But yesterday I sat on a park bench for half an hour waiting for a streetcar... And I have to say. I found it entirely enjoyable. There I was, alone with myself - and suddenly things got a whole lot clearer. Like I could see myself again... I could see my life, I could think about it without distraction.

My brother is a great man, an honorable man - but he's not what you would call a thinking man. He goes to great lengths to NOT think about things. I once asked him if he believed in god. He told me he hadn't ever really thought about it. Surprise. But he and I drove across Canada once, after I finished university. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open in the prairies - because it was like driving through the desert... Hours and hours of the EXACT same landscape. I understandably fell asleep. The road ahead was straight into the horizon and for 360 degrees there wasn't much except the odd tree to look at. I woke up hours later - to the EXACT same landscape I had fallen asleep to - but my brother was still awake, miraculously. I remember blinking a few times and looking over at him.

"How on earth are you still awake?" I asked in earnest.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking," he answered.

And THAT - I knew - was a real turning point in his life. Because for the first time, he was alone with himself. Really, truly alone with his thoughts - and forced to deal with them.

I've been confronted with a lot of life questions lately - mostly triggered by thoughts of the future that I want, and exacerbated by the fact that I don't know what I want. But I tell you, half an hour on a park bench, waiting for the streetcar, and I'm starting to feel a little less foggy.

Hugs!

I have to laugh that newspapers are reporting on higher incidences of hugging in schools. But what interests me most is that I've never thought about hugging in terms of a "trend" before. But if I had, I would have noticed that the "trend" is not new. It was common practice in my school years, right through high school, to hug people I knew all the time - hug goodbye, hug hello, hug randomly when we shared a moment.

There is something cool and great about a hug, and its ability to break through walls. I wasn't even aware of the fact that some people had greater needs for personal space until university - when I shared housing with someone who didn't really like to be near people. Then - my roommate after university, was someone who wasn't into hugging. So I think through them, I became more acutely aware of my huggy nature, and started reigning in my urges around mixed company. Suddenly hugging became something that some people were "into" and some weren't - and to respect their sense of personal space, I had to wait until they invited the hug.

But thinking back to high school - I hugged everyone. I still mostly do. I love hugging - heart chakra contact - awesome.

Here's a little delight for all of you.

Vague Zodiac Webs

Sorry for not posting yesterday - since it was Thanksgiving here in Canada, I took the long weekend to do some much needed cleaning, knitting and video-game playing. Three cheers for down time!

I'm actually looking for a good online horoscope service - any favourites? The guy I usually read is getting horribly, horribly vague. Starting to think he's been replaced with a computer program.

I'm still not sure where I stand on horoscopes and astrology in general. I have a love hate thing happening. On one hand I completely buy the theory that if you're a little soul about to be born into the world, you would choose things like what planets, alignments, etc. you'd want to be born under... After all, the celestial bodies have a ton of influence on us.



But on the other hand, I think there's so much more to us than the day we were born on. Life intervenes, grabs hold, gives us particular quirks and ticks we weren't born with. We're not all the purest forms of ourselves anymore. We've changed, grown...

That being said, I'm a dabbler in all things - and I dabble in the zodiacal arts. In particular, I love the combination of Western and Chinese Zodiac... Because it's an added layer of complexity on something that often proves a bit too simplistic. You're not just a Taurus, you're a Taurus Rooster (and by "you" I mean "me").

But I don't think enough is said about the spectrum within any given sign. Is it just me or is there quite a different between the early Piscean or the late one? I have known my fair share of Taureans - and I have most in common with the ones whose birthdays are early in the sign (ie. Late April) versus the ones who were born late in the sign (Early-mid May).

This is where I find the zodiac fails - because it casts too wide a net - it's catching the tuna AND the dolphins. I don't think those of us born late April are the same as those mid-May. I think there may be similar qualities to us, but they present themselves or manifest in different ways.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I would love to see an astrologer boldly divide the horoscope into 24 signs. Two for each sign. And take a shot at that. Sure, it's twice the work, but it dares to be only half as vague, right?

International Bloggers' Day for Burma

New Project

Hey kids,

I've changed a few things in the side menu. I wanted to highlight some interesting spiritual blogs I've stumbled across, along with some good videos.

It's part of my new effort to build a bit of a resource library through links. I welcome any good links you guys might have up your sleeve - it's good karma to share! So please send me any articles, videos or blogs that have helped you or intrigued you on your journey.

Big thanks for being you,
Diana

Dream Dictionary

I had a disruptive sleep last night - caused mostly by a dream I had that is entirely based upon some anxieties it appears I have. I won't go into details because, well - I prefer to remain in the abstract.

But I would like to talk about the subconscious and the dialogue between you and your subconscious and how to develop a universal language so that you might better understand each other and communicate more efficiently.

When I was young my father encouraged me to take note of my dreams. I had fun notebooks where I tried (and did pretty badly) to remember my dreams. It wasn't easy at first. I might remember one aspect - a tidal wave, or perhaps a cliff, or if it was something traumatic like my mother died, then I might remember a little more... But it was slow-going at first. Dream recall is actually a skill that takes time to hone in, it's not as immediate as you would think - and it's not at all like riding a bike. If you don't do it for a while you lose it.

Dream recall is mostly about discipline - literally forcing yourself to write down as much as you can as fast as you can as soon as you wake from your dream. Don't feel compelled to write in full sentences or even in a straight line - most of my 2am entries look more like

Pumpkins

Llama

Flying over trees with Sarah

Looking for medicine

Excited

And trust me, it looks just as foreign to me in the light of 8am as it does to you right now - but it doesn't matter - because I got what counts. I got the people (or things) around me, the elements (animals, food, landscape, etc.), actions (flying, running, skating, etc.) and most importantly, my feeling toward this activity (anxious, excited, sad, etc.)

That's really all you need to figure out what the dream is "telling you". For instance, let's look at this (fake) dream:

Pumpkins I associate with the fall, which in turn I associate with change.

Llamas I associate with things that are funny, silly or ridiculous.

Flying over trees means that I'm feeling free - my friend Sarah represents to me a sort of childlike joyful nature - so I'm feeling carefree and full of childlike joy.

Medicine would be the answer or solution to the problem at hand.

Excitement means I'm excited about the solutions that are out there and that I am looking for them - and it's telling me that I'm embracing change (pumpkins) with a joyful, carefree, childlike enthusiasm.

There. I did it. I dissected a fake dream for myself.

But the real point of all of this is to say that you should (in my humble opinion) DITCH THE DICTIONARY you bought that says that "Llamas represent feelings of security - a shaved llama represents nakedness")... Okay MAYBE that's what a llama means to you, but maybe not - and let's face it, when you're trying to establish communication with your subconscious it's just better if you stop trying to make "green" mean "orange".

If a llama represents something to you uniquely, then THAT is what a llama means in your dream. For me, llamas are silly, ridiculous - and that's what they represent in my subconscious.

When I was encouraging my roommate a couple years ago to take note of her dreams and to start working with them - it was hard for her at first to understand some of the symbolism - but the more she paid attention, the more familiar she became with her inner landscape. She was always on some form of public transportation - always on the move. It was no coincidence that she had recently uprooted and moved to the other side of the country. It was no coincidence that her subconscious felt "in transit".

I had a great dream the night before last (which makes up for last night's little blip). Skip over if you're short on time.

I am running a store of some kind - and I want to take out this doormat for the front door - it's been hiding in the corner of the shop under a trunk. So I take this doormat out, and it has a Christmas theme on it. I'm a big fan of this doormat. Along with the mat, I take out a plant that has been indoors, gathering dust on its leaves.

But as soon as the plant reaches the outdoors, weird animals start to emerge from it - a ferret first, who has been curled up inside the knobby trunk - then a turtle emerges, then the leaves bend and twist around looking for the sun - practically breathing in the fresh air.

Clearly I've taken some aspect of myself out of the dusty storeroom and into the fresh air - and all the little aspects of myself that have been in hibernation are starting to wake from their sleepy states. A great omen indeed!

Just thought I'd share. Your turn! Any good dreams lately?

Note to Self...

I had a very powerful dream a couple years ago and awoke with a single phrase in my head - a phrase so puzzling and wonderful that I had to write it down. The phrase was "Suffering is an illusion."

Let's look at it together.

This was an interesting statement - what did it mean. Buddha said that "life is suffering", the Hindu epics state that the world is nothing but 'Maya' (the Hindi equivalent of the word Illusion). Okay so...

Life = Suffering.
Life = Illusion
Suffering = Illusion.

Right?

Hm. Well let's look at suffering. What is suffering?

Suffering is any unwanted condition and the corresponding negative emotion. It is usually associated with pain and unhappiness, but any condition can be suffering if it is unwanted. Antonyms include happiness or pleasure.
(Wikipedia source)

Suffering, then, is caused by being in a condition or situation that you do not desire. So, let's look at this notion of what we desire. What we want.

Depends I guess on which part of yourself you're talking about. If we buy the notion that our spirit selves have set us out on a course in this life that will include both desirable and undesirable situations, but that we in face WANT to be in these situations to learn valuable spiritual truths, then nothing we experience, no matter how awful, is in fact UN-desired. It may not be desired by our conscious selves - our egos... But on some level it was our choice.

Of course there's also the natural argument that we're all in a false reality and therefore nothing is real because EVERYTHING is an illusion.

Who knows why my subconscious left me that message.. But it sure is fun to think about, n'est-ce pas?

By all means, if you have a better theory about my mysterious note to self - PLEASE share. Would mean the world.

Thanks,
Diana

Domo arigato, Mr. Emoto

I think all of this intention stuff is starting to get to me. And I'm starting to feel like a crazy person. In the middle of my yoga class last night I found myself staring at my water bottle, trying to alter the molecules of my water to give me more energy. I mean, Mr. Emoto! Look at what you've done to me!

Did it work? Well yes, actually. I found my water to be particularly refreshing, colder than expected and I had a very strong class. But I'm now starting to feel almost as crazy as Madonna with her Kabbalah water. Silly Madonna, don't you know you can bless your own water for free?

But seriously - all this reading about reiki and intention... Where it all comes together for me is just in the message of the hidden powers of the mind to affect our surroundings in a measurable, concrete way. For me, this is evolution, is finally accepting that we CAN heal, affect the outcome of things, change the mood of those around us, diffuse conflict, and do thousands of other things simply by thinking it.

The first step, as with anything, is acceptance. Without that, people would never even try to do something like heal their child's belly ache by channeling healing energy into their solar plexus. But if you accept that we are capable of such things, it becomes almost impossible to stop doing it.

I'm starting to believe that we are blessed - all of us - with powers beyond our comprehension. I think we can affect change by changing our thought patterns, by "connecting to the source" as Wayne Dyer would say, or more accurately (see Lynne McTaggart's work) by plugging into The Field.

What is The Field, you ask?

A bit like finding there is such a thing as The Force in Star Wars. The Field tells the story of respected frontier scientists all over the globe who have produced extraordinary evidence to show that an energy field -The Zero Point Field - connects everything in the universe, and we ourselves are part of this vast dynamic cobweb of energy exchange.

(Click here to read more about it. Visit the link in my right-hand menu to buy it so you can go crazy with power too!)

I swear, this stuff changes you.

Oh and if you are interested in learning more about The Field - Lynne McTaggart is giving a seminar in Toronto later this month. Go here for more details.

Curiouser and curiouser!

I found myself yesterday watching an old (1988) broadcast called "God, the Universe and Everything Else". It was a roundtable session of sorts with the late Carl Sagan, Arthur C. Clarke and Stephen Hawking. I had a few giggles, to be sure, just because they were talking about how the Hubble was going to go up shortly, and how hopeful they were that it would answer some of their questions. It was also funny to hear them talk about Stephen Hawking's 'new book' A Brief History of Time. Twenty years later, though, I have to say that their assessments of what was important, what was going to be important and what the biggest questions were - it was all still quite relevant. Surprising, actually.

But personally, it was an interesting viewing considering that just days prior I had stumbled across PBS' program on The Elegant Universe which discusses similar (almost too similar) topics. What does it mean that these programs are important to me now? Why am I seeking this stuff out?

Not that it's completely out of character for me to research this sort of stuff. After all, the universe had me at hello, and I'm a super keen student of all things astrophysical, metaphysical and quantum physical. It's the universe in all of its beauty, simplicity and intricacy that made me believe in something other than randomness and chaos.

But I digress. Going back to these programs that I watched - it is just so fascinating that for years, since Einstein (and perhaps before that) they have been looking for a unifying theory - a "theory of everything". A simple solution to explain why everything in the universe acts the way it does. Much like what Einstein did for our understanding of gravity, the great minds out there are looking for the key to unlocking the secret of what makes this great, beautiful machine work.

The problem they're encountering seems to lie, however, in the minutia.

The littlest parts of us don't do things in any kind of rational way. The atoms and subatomic particles that make us don't abide by the laws of the universe as we know them to be. They do things differently, particles can disappear and reappear thousands of miles away faster than the speed of light. They seem to react differently when observed. WE, the observer, cannot know their true state because the very act of observing them somehow changes them.

A big fat WTF?!, I know. And yet it's so exciting that there are still mysteries out there, no? I love it, actually. I love that there are big unexplainable, unknowable things about the universe. Because how boring would we be if we knew all the answers?

What would we be without our curiosity?

It got me thinking about a persistent nagging question stuck in my brain. If we are all divine beings, connected to the source of all things, which knows all things, then why don't we know everything? Okay, maybe we choose amnesia when we come to this realm to achieve certain life lessons, but then why don't those on the other side know everything?

But I'm starting to rethink this question - because I'm beginning to realize the intrinsic value of curiosity. Is there anything more beautiful than curiosity? It is the desire to know, the desire to learn... It's practically a primary instinct. And if I believe all of my thoughts on the nature of our species (in the physical form and other forms), then it is our curiosity that drives us forward.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.”
-Albert Einstein

So I guess to answer my own question - we don't know everything because we don't really want to. We'd rather spend our time trying to figure it out ourselves. Because that's way more fun.