What's To Come

I haven't posted in eons, and for that I am sorry. There have been... ahem... some developments that have made it difficult for me to post without touching on them. Namely, I found out I am going to be a mother this winter.

I'm in my second trimester, and slowly getting comfy with telling people... but there is still some anxiety around it. Not because I'm unhappy with the news, but because it feels so intensely personal that it feels like I am exposing myself every time I tell. Like they say in Tina Fey's movie Baby Mama - I'm coming out of the mommy closet... revealing that this is something that I have not only longed for for years but that it's something I feel will intensely affect and change the course of my life. This is something I know.

And I've been waiting.

In a way, this baby is much like the herald of a new era for me - an era filled with an abundance of creativity, and fresh thinking. A spring for what seems like my longest winter.

But therein also lies the anxiety.

As much as I know that this child will force me to re-examine my creative backburner that has too long gone unattended, it's almost painful to go back to failed attempts at writing, at creating - and open that passage again. What if? What if? What if it all goes bad again? Can I handle the rejection? AM I GOOD ENOUGH? Most of you are probably nodding your heads. You've been there. Who hasn't.

This tiny thing inside of me is already rifling through all the garbage I've been burying and is starting to bring it up (along with yesterday's dinner). So the stall in writing has mostly been me steadying myself against anything solid - hoping I'll make it through this windstorm of change.

Clearing out the Cobwebs

A good friend recently wrote me about a dream she had had that was of particular concern to her. She dreamt that her apartment was filthy, disgusting - and in a complete state of disorder. Things were rotting in corners and she had an infestation of spiders - hatching spider eggs on the kitchen counter. And a cockroach - the ultimate sign of filth.

We both agreed that this was likely a message from her subconscious letting her know that she needed to do a little spring cleaning of her thoughts and notions about how the world works.

Because in dream time any housing represents your mind and in turn, your thoughts, your mental processes (I wouldn't go so far as to say emotions, because there wasn't the presence of water). So clearly, there were a few "rotting" ideas in her head, some stale energy and a lot of garbage that she needed to get rid of.

We also explored what her "spiders" were. What were the "pests" in her head - perhaps ongoing or constantly "hatching" negative thoughts or ideas? Through discussion, my friend realized that it was likely caused by the emergence of a new relationship and how it wasn't exactly what she thought it would be like.. that these thought pests might be her old expectations or notions infesting her current acceptance of reality.

But what I found most interesting was the notion of needing a "spring cleaning" of the brain. Once a year, or maybe more if you're really good, you go through your junk or your garage or your living space and you clean out the old - either donate old clothes or recycle that huge pile of newspapers from the last year. But how often do we do the same with regard to our thought patterns?

How often do we sit with ourselves and say - what's old? what's not working anymore?

This is maybe something worth doing twice a year... because god knows we all gather a lot of thought "junk" every day - notions about what we should look like, how much we should earn, what our perfect man/woman looks like, acts like, etc. And sometimes these things sit inside for so long that they end up rotting, cluttering our brain and ultimately infesting our reality.

I think I'm due for a spring cleaning too... who's going to join me?

Stroke of Insight

If you have not yet seen this extraordinary talk about her stroke of insight, you might want to take a peek. I was completely mesmerized by her story. She was a brain scientist who suffered a massive stroke that shut down the whole of her left hemisphere and left her completely right-brained.

And it turns out that it was bliss. You must watch.

Dementors Everywhere

In the Harry Potter books (and movies) there are creatures called Dementors - creatures that feed on misery and live by sucking the happiness out of everyone (see clip above). It's a perfect representation of those people you meet in the everyday who just seem hell-bent to bring you off your high and into their low. Why? Because misery loves company?

Unlike the dementors in Harry Potter, though, chocolate alone won't make the chills go away after an encounter with these emotional vampires.. it requires a little more than that. Literally, you need to work on building up your psychic self-defense. A tight bubble of positive energy around yourself that can't be touched, drained or perforated by their attempts to bog you down.

I certainly have my fair share of personal dementors. Any other good tips on dealing with these creatures in your office or in your circle of friends?

Cheeky Tarot

I forget sometimes how powerful and important the tarot can be in helping me take a good hard look at my life. This past weekend I had this really big question on my brain (not related to work) and I asked it, doing a full Celtic cross reading on it. The results were baffling... they made no sense!

...Until I realized that it had completely ignored my question and had gone straight ahead onto critiquing my work situation.

Sometimes I hate the tarot because it has that funny way of telling you what you really need to hear, rather than what you actually want to know. So I got a big fat kick in the ass, lots of hard love and a solid amount of chiding before I realized it was SO right. And I was forced to see what I had been turning a blind eye to for months.

It was only after I had properly digested this information that I decided not to let the tarot off the hook completely. I asked my original question and pulled a single card for an answer.

And I got it.

Cheeky tarot.

Being/Grateful

Still here.

Working on a big project. My calling? Yes, perhaps. You'll know soon...

In the meantime, still getting weepy daily over my immense gratitude for the state of my life right now. Am completely in the flow of wonderfulness and loving and living and laughing. Ha!

Sure, there are still bumps in the road - aren't there always? - but they don't matter as much. I can't help but feel lucky. Every day. Have never really felt like this for so long before... a couple days here or there, but this has been months of gratitude. And happiness.

Am also trying very much to get in the present. The future is going to come, I no longer worry about it so much. Instead, I'm trying to just BE - and see where it gets me.

How are things with you?

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Deja Vu

I have a slew of strange little beliefs with seemingly little or no origin. Did I read it somewhere, did I piece it together or did I make it up? I can't be sure.

One of these beliefs involves the true nature of the phenomenon known as deja vu, translating literally to "seen before".

"We have all some experience of a feeling, that comes over us occasionally, of what we are saying and doing having been said and done before, in a remote time – of our having been surrounded, dim ages ago, by the same faces, objects, and circumstances – of our knowing perfectly what will be said next, as if we suddenly remember it!"

-Charles Dickens, Personal History of David Copperfield.

The scientific cats in their scientific coats explain deja vu as "an anomaly of memory" - it's your brain playing tricks on you, didn't you know?

"Hmm," I say. "Maybe."

But what kind of new age quack would I be if I didn't have an alternate theory?

Here goes..


Before we're born, we make a little road map of where we'd like to get to. We mark off the rest stops, the main attractions and we make notes about the people who we'll meet up with at various stops and we highlight the twists and turns. Only, because life on the other side is much more advanced than life here we don't have to write it all down, instead we can see it. I don't know if we see it in our minds' eye or if there's some kind of universal jumbotron - but we 'see' the journey we're about to make, before we make it.

It's like Tiger Woods 'seeing' his swing through before he steps up to the tee.

Okay, so we're all visualized and ready to go. We're born. And not everything will happen the way we 'saw it' - some of us might downright veer off, maybe take the wrong highway. But most of us just take little detours from the main path, I imagine.

Okay so back to "deja vu" - are you starting to see where I'm taking you with this theory? I imagine a "deja vu" to be exactly that - it's a moment in time you've already seen before, back when you were visualizing your road trip. Your memory isn't playing tricks on you - it's remembering something from a time before you were born into who you are now.

So whenever I catch myself in a deja vu moment, I take note of who I'm with, what's happening in my life at the moment and I relax knowing that whatever it is that I'm doing, I'm on the right track. Even if it's an insignificant pit stop. I'm where I need to be.

It's possible that it's a ridiculous theory - but it rings true for me. And might for you. See what you think next time you have a deja vu.

The truth

We forget. All the time. We forget our divine nature. We forget that everything is perfect and everything is right.

I have these moments, usually when I'm on a streetcar (I do my best thinking on my morning and evening commutes) when I click, I clue in, I remember that everything is okay. Every decision I've made or haven't made is perfect and in order with the universe. Everything that will happen, will be alright. Everything that has already happened only helped shape - but doesn't determine who I am. I am not what I do for a living. I am who I am - and I do what I do for a living.

I was reminded yesterday of the difference between being and doing. Those who believe that they are what they do are not being in the truest sense. They are simply doing. It's a mental math problem that I can only wrap my brain around for a few seconds at a time, but I like where it leads me. It leads me down a path where I am forced to ask "but who am I" and simultaneously forced to shut down all of my usual notions of self. I am not my age, my location, my marital status or my job. I am not my tax bracket, my gender or my name. I am so much more.

When we get past all of those descriptions - who are we?

That's when I get those little a-ha! moments. And I giggle. Because the truth is so simple, and so great.

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Faith

I can feel myself shifting into a new set of priorities. Like a wave that's gently bringing me to a new shore, it's subtle and soothing and a calm movement that doesn't upset.

But even so, I'm fraught with nerves, and there's a whole lot of second-guessing involved. How do I know it's the right choice? How do I know that I won't look back and wish I hadn't made that decision? Am I playing it safe?

And then a voice comes to me, from a deeper place that reminds me and cradles me back into the wave in a warm and welcoming embrace. Have Faith, it says. And I smile and remember that I'm a believer in things like destiny and 'the path' and I know that everything happens for a reason. My doubting the process is a slap in the face to all of these things. It's me questioning the way the universe works, or trying to exert some last little bit of control over my life, despite the fact that I long ago realized that my control and my ego are more often holding me back than advancing my cause.

The biggest, bravest leaps I've taken have always been my best. Faith. Faith is taking that first step off the cliff, into the void, not knowing whether or not there will be anything there to catch you, but trusting in the process. Faith  and Trust.

Faith is love. It's a love of magic in the universe. It's a trust that everything we do is with purpose.

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Finding Purpose

Lately, there's been a lot of chatter in my brain about finding something meaningful to do with my time and my life. It's all about giving back.

But what to give? Every time I think of something, a countering voice says who are you to do that, teach that, heal that. And I'm having a constant argument with myself that experience has nothing to do with fulfilling your life's purpose.

Just because we don't have a million degrees in psychotherapy, it doesn't mean we don't know how to listen. Just because we don't have a PhD, doesn't mean we don't know how to heal. And just because I've never written a book, doesn't mean I'm not a writer.

I am a listener, and a healer and a writer - and all of these things will somehow find a home in my life - so that I may fulfill a greater purpose.

I guess I just wish I knew what that purpose was...

Slowly I'm starting to get the picture of what the next few years will bring. Along with starting a family, I am planning on starting on that book. You know, the one that's lived in my head for 10 years - yeah, you've got one too, I bet. Time to let it out, let it breathe. Because I'll never know how good it is until I write it.

Intuition

Most of my regular visitors know that I've been working pretty hard lately at developing my psychic intuition (and listening to it). And I think I'm now at the point where I'm open to impressions. They don't come at me all the time, and usually it's subtle but powerful.

Point in case: My best friend in Ottawa, 7 months pregnant. She's due May 28th. She and I start talking, she jokes that her husband thinks it'll be the 15th instead. It was like a microwave-esque DING! in my head. I said not only did I agree, but I would put money on it.

Beginning of the week, I checked in with her. She hadn't dropped yet and it didn't look like she would be having the baby this week. Tuesday her water broke. But the hospital sent her home. She went back on Wednesday and delivered her baby boy around 11:15pm Wednesday, May 14th.

I was off by 45 minutes.

Now this might not seem that impressive, but considering my recent streak of not only predicting birthdays, but knowing when friends and family are pregnant before they do... it would seem I've got a relatively clear channel, right??

Except for yesterday. Yesterday I was SURE I was going to hear back about a job I applied for. I was CERTAIN. Certain like I was about the birthdays, certain like I was about my brother's wife being pregnant... CERTAIN. But nothing happened. No call, no email. And I'm a bit stunned.

I guess I "get" that we can't be right all the time - and that there are a lot of factors that come into play, like free will. Did something change? Did I change the event by knowing it was coming or was my desire for the event so powerful that I somehow convinced myself that it was true?

What tricky waters to navigate!

I guess I should let that be a lesson to me, though, that intuition can be fooled by the ego - that one can want something so much that one can convince themselves it will come to pass.

We'll see what happens, if anything. I'll keep you posted.

Death Insurance

I haven't been feeling the most inspired lately, so apologies for not posting as frequently this week. But the high of buying a house is now morphing into the incredible task of filling out mounds of paperwork and undoubtedly signing my life away. Literally. I had to sign up for life insurance.

It's weird, signing up for life insurance. Weird because suddenly you're forced to imagine a scenario - your life without you. How odd.

Death is a weird thing. I've been watching Six Feet Under, trying to get caught up by watching from the beginning. It's a great concept for a show, because death touches people in such different ways. Some people never deal with the grief, some can't seem to feel anything but the grief and they get lost in it.

But from a spiritual vantage point, death is only traumatic for those who are left behind to feel the absence.  Of course, having the knowledge that death is not really the end of consciousness helps with the grief process. Most of us 'believers' (note that I use the term even though I would never say I believe in the afterlife because I know it exists) have an easier time coping with loss because we continue to have a relationship with the departed long after they die. We talk to them, feel them, dream about them, hear their voice in our heads, smile when we see something they would have liked or laugh at jokes we remember them telling.

I always hated it when people would tell me someone would live on "in your heart". That was always too abstract for me - and too painful. They were still gone. Distilled into nothing but a memory.

But after my experiences, I've come to understand that saying to be more about the connection we retain to the spirits of passed loved ones. The connection is love, it is what keeps us dialed into their frequency, able to maintain contact. Our love for them keeps the channel open, so to speak, so that they may continue to watch over us, interact with us (in subtle ways) and guide us when need be.

This doesn't take away from our sense of loss - because we will continue to miss their physical self. We'll miss their laugh or their smile or their hugs... that's inevitable. We'll miss them at weird times, randomly triggered nostalgias. But we live on... and so do they.

So where does all this lead me? I'm filling out my details, insuring my life. Ironic that they don't call it death insurance, which is what it is. But I'm guessing it would creep people out too much.

What Bakes My Noodle

One of my favourite parts of The Matrix is when Neo (Keanu Reeves) goes to see the oracle.

Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but, you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase.
Neo: What vase?
[Neo turns to look for a vase, and as he does, he knocks over a vase of flowers, which shatters on the floor.]
Oracle: That vase.
Neo: I'm sorry--
Oracle: I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it.
Neo: How did you know?
Oracle: Ohh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?

And so it is with psychics. One can never entirely get around the fact that the very act of getting guidance might change your course.

Case in point: the house my husband and I just bought.

I called my psychic a week ago for help with the house-hunting. She described a yellow-brick bungalow on a hill, with hardwood floors throughout.

We bought a yellow-brick bungalow on a hill, with hardwood floors throughout.

Now. I would love to say that I would have picked it regardless of whether or not I had had that reading... but the fact of the matter is that I can't know that for sure. Just like Neo can never know if he would have shattered that vase if the oracle hadn't mentioned it and he hadn't turned to see what she was referring to.

But all I know is that for those of us who happen to have psychics we trust, or guides of any kind, in this world or the other, the fact is that they are a part of our path. I think they're in the equation already.

That is to say, I was always going to buy that house, because I was always slated to talk to Angie first.

But it's still fun to wonder about these sorts of things. I like paradoxes. The universe wouldn't be much fun without them.

If you haven't seen the Matrix - the clip is below.

Schrödinger's cat

And now for a brief journey into the bizarre world of quantum physics... and the promise of a spiritual bent at the end. I've blogged about this before, but I want to come back to it.

Schrödinger's cat.

Schrödinger was a physicist in the early 1900s who proposed that the quantum universe was a very strange place indeed. He found that quantum particles had no definite state until they were observed. They were all possible states until they were observed. He used the example of a cat in a box to make his point in case.

He asked that we believe a subatomic particle was a cat, in a box. You don't know if the cat is dead or alive inside the box until you open it to find out. But the real mindf*#% was that, according to quantum mechanics, the cat would be both dead AND alive until you observed it - and that by observing it you would be sealing its fate and it would become one or the other forever.

Now this information is interesting to think about in all kinds of ways - but my favourite way of thinking about it is in the personal sense - that this is true of us on a larger scale. The entire universe exists in a state of endless possibilities. We are not simply the one thing we think we are - but by thinking we are that one thing (by observing ourselves, we create that reality.

But we are made up of particles that do not exist as any one thing, they exist as everything - and they bounce in and out of existence by the second.

The next time I find myself saying I can't or I'm not.. I'll have to remember that I can and I am... unless I decide that I can't or I'm not. Because we are infinite until we decide we're not.

I'll leave you with this daily gem from Lolcats which inspired my post today:

Bangs

Just had to share this little chuckle I had, whilst contemplating endings and beginnings (see previous post)...

Our favourite Canadian broadcaster, the CBC (note tongue in cheek) has this great little web page for kids to review things - books, movies, toys, etc.

Anyway - I was perusing today (because I'm paid to peruse these sorts of things) and I came across the best reviewed item EVER: Bangs. Like short hair on your forehead bangs. Like "we prefer to call it a fringe" bangs. B A N G S.

Here's what the little reviewer said:

My review is on bangs. I love bangs. they are so cute on me. my mom and my grandma all have them. One day I came home with my friend. Then we were talking about them and them we all decided to give me some.
Now my hair looks even better than before. the only bad thing is you have to trim them so they don't get too long. Anyway I would recommend bangs to everybody who are thinking of getting them!

It's sometimes the simplest things. You forget, you know, as you get older, and then you see something so perfectly for the first time through the eyes of a kid and you're like "yeah, bangs ARE awesome". I mean, I just never really think about it much anymore.

I have bangs. And they are so cute on me too.

When God closes a door...

I'm sure you've heard the saying (and I'm probably hugely missaying it, but I think I got it from Sound of Music)... when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.

Today, that could not be more true. Some big doors closed today - and it seems just as many windows opened.

I'm not entirely sure whether to laugh, cry or scream... but I'm smiling and that's got to say something. Maybe I really am making progress with my faith in the universe - maybe I am finally trusting and allowing.

Because, you know, the universe works in mysterious ways - and we can't possibly understand it's ways until we come out the other side.

A Space to Expand Into..

I had another great reading on Saturday with my favourite psychic, Angie. One thing that came up in relation to my move to the suburbs was this notion of peace.

I love many of the things that the city has to offer - the movie nights with friends, the restaurants, and definitely the big city paychecks. BUT (and this is a big but), I find it hard to breathe here. Not literally, but psychically, spacially. It's like I feel cramped at all times. The minute I leave the city, whether by air, car, train or other, I almost immediately feel my blood pressure drop.

We talked about this and about personal space in general - that sensitive people, people who are open and working on their connection to the sacred, often have extended fields of energy or auric fields, if you will. And the problem with having these big auric fields is that when you're sitting in a cramped streetcar - there are literally 20 people sitting, thinking, talking, venting, crying, laughing, etc. IN YOUR FIELD. This can make you crazy as you cycle through these emotions yourself... feeling the cumulative stress of every single person on the car. And there's a lot of stress on my streetcar - it rolls right through the financial district.

She talked about me needing to make my field smaller - keep it closer to my body and control it a little more in the city.

But the real solution, it was agreed, was for me was to get out of the city - be able to walk to the lake, be in a forest, see the sky (I miss the sky sometimes, the condos do a good job of blocking it out). She said that this would be a life-changing move for me, in that it would renew creative juices and reconnect me with nature. Even having a garden in the backyard would ground me and remind me of what really matters (and it ain't the big city paycheck).

It's amazing how overlooked the value of geography is in our spiritual path. Angie reminded me of how the Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert remarked on Oprah how much her new house has changed her. That after all that traveling, all that prayer, all that meditation, a simple little house can transform a life too.

I feel it will be that way for me too - a little retreat where I can extend my auric field as far as it will go :)

Clairvoyants, Psychics and Hacks - Oh My!

Back from my holiday but not quite in the swing of things just yet. I promise to get back into the habit of thinking deeply and blogging about interesting things shortly.

In the meantime, I am getting excited about this weekend - mostly because of my annual present to myself... a psychic reading from my good friend Angie Aristone. She's a wonderful woman who always points me in the right direction... or at least to the right book (and sometimes that's all you need).

If there's anyone reading this who hasn't ever had a reading by a legitimate medium/clairvoyant, I highly recommend it. That being said, I fear that for every legitimate one there are ten hacks waiting to take your money. I have personally had some hilarious readings by the worst kinds of hacks (mostly at psychic fairs, which bring them out in droves).

How to tell a hack from a real psychic... (in my humblest opinion)

1) Hacks use props. Now... I will say that tarot cards are great tools, and sometimes necessary for beginners and those trying to tap into their intuitive powers for the first time but experienced, gifted psychics would probably see them as a crutch. Same goes for crystal balls (oh god), pendulums, candles, ouija or any other kind of physical tool. The best psychics I've come across don't use anything except maybe a tape recorder, for your benefit.

2) Hacks will bombard you with "proof" of their gift. Call it massive overcompensation, a hack will feel compelled to tell you just how good they are - they may have testimonials by the truck load, celebrity endorsements or my personal favourite - pictures of their aura. All of this will undoubtedly PROVE that they are talented and that you should pay them more money. Personally, every celebrity-endorsed psychic I've ever gone to (there have been a few) has been completely and utterly full of $#^&.

3) Hacks charge by the minute and/or can be found in the yellow pages. Please. A good psychic rarely needs to advertise. The few ones I know have a very steady client base and months waiting lists. They don't need psychic fairs or midnight television ads to drum up business. Want a good psychic? Get a referral from someone you trust. Word of mouth generally yields the best candidates.

4) Hacks ask a lot of questions. Don't get me wrong... there's no fault in trying to clarify something. From time to time Angie may get an image or in some instances a full-blown movie playing in her head. She'll describe it, in vivid detail... and may ask something like - is that your grandfather or uncle? But it's a far cry from general questions some "psychics" ask like "did you recently finish some kind of schooling or take some classes?" ... questions like these apply to almost everyone in their 20s - and are easy fishing techniques to get info off of you. A good psychic should give you validations, not ask for them.


All in all it may be hard for some to find a psychic they trust. But talking with the other side or getting clues about future events is a real thrill. Everything, of course, should always be taken with a grain of salt, because let's not forget we all have free will - and psychics can only tell you what is most probable to happen.

That being said, I can't wait to find out what my next couple of years will probably yield.

Out of Mind, Into Body

Relaxation cannot be underestimated for its regenerative properties. A time for the body and the mind to shed excess stress and remember itself free of the daily grind.

For me personally it's a time to get a little perspective, see things from a bit of a distance. I'm so in my head these days that I need to reground myself in my body... and sadly it often takes a trip away from this cerebral city to do so.

And so, with this in mind (and body), I am off to visit the sun, the surf and hopefully scuba dive among some beautiful Bahamian coral reef. I plan to regenerate, recuperate and relax in all the most indulgent ways. My own little micro Eat, Pray, Love... but more like Eat, Swim, Sleep... and maybe only slightly less enlightening (by the by, if you have not yet read the aforementioned book... it really is a happy and enjoyable read - what are you waiting for).

I will return to my regular blogging by April 24th.

If you're missing your daily fix of Silly Buddha, why not peruse my archives... lots to read there.

I'll send each of you, my readers, a little bit of relaxation and sunshine from my destination.
Namaste.
Diana

That's A Lot of Labels

I was waiting for the elevator, on my way up to my office this morning when a guy from my floor approached. He's from my neighbouring office and he and I see each other often. We usually make small talk in the elevator. He's got a good sense of humour and it's fun to banter with him.

So I pulled out my earbuds and starting stowing my fancy iPod when he commented on it. I laughed, said I was a big of a tekkie. He nodded appreciatively. I continued (why? I don't know) to say that I was a fan of gadgets - I believe I may have even used the term "gadget-lover" and then went on to say that I was also an avid gamer. Not sure why I felt the need to disclose...

His response? "That's a lot of labels."

Jesus. He was so right. It took all of two seconds for him to figure me out.

Let this be a reminder to me that the greatest spiritual teachers come from the most unexpected places  .. and today's lesson was "stop labeling yourself - because you are infinite".

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Happy Return(s)?

I'm fascinated by my recent discovery of "Saturn Returns". I had heard the term a couple of times before during various astronomy readings and courses I've attended... but it never quite hit me that it was as powerful as I'm beginning to understand it is.

The all-knowing Wikipedia defines a Saturn Return as:

a regular astronomical occurrence relevant to the science of astrology to occur in a person's life at approximately 27–30 years of age and again around the age of 58–60, with the third and usually final occurrence around 86-88. The planet Saturn takes approximately 29.5 years to orbit the Sun; when it returns to the exact degree along the ecliptic it occupied at the time of a person's birth this is referred to as their "Saturn Return".

And it sure does explain some big changes in the lives of the people that I know. For one, I keep making fun of my husband's rather exciting 3 years (spanning 27-30 wouldn't you know)... He got up the courage to leave a toxic marriage, met me, married me and changed his job (twice) during his Saturn return. A lot of big changes in a small amount of time. And he's never been happier!

I am slowly (or not so slowly) approaching my Saturn return and already I feel the changes on the horizon. My parents are also approaching their Saturn returns. Will be interesting to see how that manifests.

The more I read, the more I'm beginning to understand the power of this marker. Through discussions with my father, who is "cracking the code to the universe" and attempting to understand the symphony of the spheres, I've come to believe that the planets really do affect us more than we will admit.

BUT - I wonder how a specific location of Saturn could affect us. If it has nothing to do with proximity, could it have something to do with frequency? Is the "sound" of Saturn at a particular angle or position meant to trigger some internal alarm clock? It would be interesting if it were indeed some kind of cosmic trigger... So that just in case you were completely ignoring your true calling and your heart's desire, Saturn comes around and kicks your ass back into the flow of your true purpose.

Please do comment if you know more about this. I'm very interested to hear how (and if) Saturn kicked your ass.

Personal Anarchy

The weather here has finally broken its icy spell and that little bit of warmth and sunshine is going a long way for me. There is something so incredibly redemptive about spring - which is likely why it's always been my favourite season. Spring, unlike any other season, epitomizes hope. And when the trees, the flowers, the crop all open their eyes to peek .. "is it okay to come out yet?" I, too, feel a bit of that urge. Is it okay? Can I come out now? And the answer comes with the sun, a booming YES. It's okay.

All things are beginning to feel possible again - and that positivity is melting away inhibitions that have been holding me back.

One particular thing I have noticed about myself lately (that I think has been holding me back) is that I've turned my life into a democratic process. My future is up for vote.

It seems that in the midst of attempting to make some significant life changes, I've been quietly but steadily polling everyone I meet. When I say "I'm thinking of moving to so-and-so..." there is so much more happening there. Instead, I realize that I'm actually saying "What do you think of me moving to so-and-so?" and then I spend the next half hour listening to them list off the places THEY think I should move to - which forces me to accommodate their intentions, while defending mine.

But in a funny twist, I'm not the only one polling. To my amusement, my husband has been just as guilty as me. I hear him on the phone with every friend and relative who will chat... "We're thinking of moving to so-and-so..." but he's really saying "What do you think of us moving to so-and-so?"

And then, because we're becoming master pollsters - when we get home after work we exchange all of the acquired data. "My boss thinks we should look here instead," or "My best friend thinks we're giving up on that other place too easily."

But since when is my life a democracy? When did I decide to give that power away? When did I stop making decisions and start taking votes?

At least now that I've put my consciousness on it (and my husband's) it's easier to catch myself in the act of polling. And hopefully that'll clear up some room for me to listen to what I really want, instead of what I've convinced myself I should want. Because yikes, I think we've all seen how elections can go horribly horribly wrong. And my life is too important to leave it up to other people.

Here's to being my own personal little anarchist.

The Beginning of the End?

Maybe it's because I've been feeling slightly nihilistic while contemplating the impossible real estate market of Toronto - but I've been surrounded lately by all kinds of doomsday talk lately. It seems to be either following me, or it has officially snuck its way into the zeitgeist.

Whether it's talk of economic ruin, or global warming melting ice caps and causing more volcanic activity... or the fact that the country that torments Tibet now controls the weather... I'm starting to feel a bit of the sense that the future really is a bit ... fucked?

And on one hand I know that we, as the type of entities that we are, will outlive the planet's destruction, probably in our other form (non-physical)... but on the other... What does it say about us as a species that we can do this to our home? What is being accomplished? What are we really learning?

History repeats itself. This is not a cliché . It's a fact. But why? Aren't we better than that?

So here's where my big theory about the universe melts down. If we are indeed advanced spiritual beings - as I believe we are - what's the deal with the lack of big picture learning? What's with the destructiveness? Or is this part of a bigger learning curve? Are we pushing boundaries to see if we will rise to the occasion or if we will fall? Are we testing ourselves and our "humanity"?

Whatever it is, I'm desperately trying to feel optimistic. We'll find an alternative to fossil fuels, right? We'll curb global warming before water levels eat up the coasts... right? Right?????

LOL. Maybe I should stick to worrying about real estate.

Un-sticking

To revive or cast off?

It seems there's a bit of a theme to my life (and the life of those close to me) at the moment. The theme is that of staleness. What is the right thing to do when a dream job/marriage/friendship stops working for you and starts working against you?

Do you work twice as hard and try to revisit the things that made you love it in the first place? Or do you move on?

I think there's a general sense in today's day and age that things are inherently transient. Most of my generation would scoff at the notion of working one job for 30 years - and as much as we would love to believe we'll be married until a ripe old age, statistics tell us that half of us won't (at least not with our first spouse).

But just because everything these days seems to be disposable, should it be? Isn't there some good to be gotten from loyalty and hard work? After all, we can't just throw things away every time we hit a snag? Society wouldn't function... would it?

But when is enough enough? When you've been sticking it out so long that you wake up one morning to discover that you are, in fact, just stuck.

Are we doing ourselves any favours trying to cash in on a losing bet?

I'm pretty sure I know my answer... but it's something I struggle with. To stay or not to stay... that is the question.

Spiritual Meme

I looked everywhere for a good Spiritual Meme, but there aren't really any. And since I was just dying to do one, I decided to make one up and tag everyone who reads this to copy and paste and put their own answers so we can share. Then, if you do it, please comment and let us know so we can check it out.

Astrological Sign?
Taurus with Sagittarius moon.

Chinese Astrological Sign?
Metal Rooster

What are you currently setting your intention on or praying for?
Spring! Just kidding... my intention is set on getting my proverbial ducks in a row and attracting the perfect house sometime this summer.

Who do you pray to?
I haven't ever really prayed, but I suppose when I need help or guidance I ask "The Universe".

Do you believe God created humans or humans evolved from primordial goo?
Ha ha. Both. I think it's all connected and that the Source, whatever we call it, is continually creating - and that evolution was part of this creative process. We are not the end of this process either.

What is your mantra?
If I'm being honest, it's probably "what's next?" because I'm always a million miles ahead of myself. But what I would want it to be is "love".

Do you believe in Sin?
I believe in free will - and I believe that although we come into our lives with best intentions, we get caught up in drama, or victimization, or anger or fear and we make bad choices. But I don't think we are punished for it in the hereafter. I think it's part of the learning process.

Do you believe in Evil?
I guess this goes hand in hand with the last question. I think there is a darkness out there that can envelop us if we let it in.  But I see a universal balance - if there is to be good, there likely has to be bad.

What do you do when you see 11:11?
I always either make a wish or give thanks when I can't think of a single thing to wish for because I have all I need.

Do you believe in Angels?
A couple years ago I might have scoffed and equated angels with UFOs. But lately I've been a little more mindful of dismissing something because of the label we've put on it. I believe in bodhisattvas (enlightened beings), and I suppose it would not be impossible for me to believe that there are higher energies, intelligent, guiding energies out there that some might deem to be 'angels'.

Do you believe in God? If so, what does God look like to you?
I believe in an organized, intelligent field of energy that we are born of and return to when we die. I believe we can access this field through meditation and dreams. If I had to give it a "face" I'd say my version of god looks like a mandala of buzzing energies.

Is there an aspect of your religion/belief that you haven't made up your mind about?
There's a lot I'm still mulling over. Not sure what I think about these "new ages" ringing in with crystal kids and indigos and the lot. I certainly want to believe... but haven't had direct experiential proof yet.

Is there a religion that you don't follow, but deeply respect or admire?
I admire a lot of different religions. I admire the Buddhist path, the epicness of Hinduism, the personal power of Wicca, and I'm deeply drawn to the esoteric and mystical branches of Judaism and Christianity.

Who has inspired you the most on your spiritual path?
There have been so many contributors along the way, beautiful clear people who've shared their thoughts and listened to mine with open minds. In the last few years Wayne Dyer has notably been the source of many little epiphanies.

In your opinion, what is the worst mistake we make, as a species?
I know it's the standard response but I'd say getting caught up in material games. I love my iPod, don't get me wrong, but I think we use money and possessions to fill holes that we ought to fill with with love and learning.

What is something you would like to believe, but don't?
Heaven, the way it's depicted in movies.

Do you believe in soul mates?
Yes, but I think we have more than one and they're not always romantic connections. I have several good friends I consider soul mates because being around them makes my heart buzz with happy vibrations.

Reincarnation or heaven?
Reincarnation, or rejoining of the field, depending on your energy's goals.

Best "ah ha!" moment/epiphany?
When my good friend, who had passed away months earlier, contacted me through my dreams - it really was a big moment for me. I woke up knowing things I had only theorized about before.

Required spiritual reading?
2150 A.D. My dad had a beaten up paperback copy of it and lent it to me. It's the best of spiritual idealism and has a lot of great thinking in it. I think the Celestine Prophecy also helped me at the right time.

If you could pick, in your final moments, what would your last words be?
"See you soon. Love you."

Advice for a lost soul?
Follow your bliss. Trust yourself.

A song that encapsulates your beliefs?
"All You Need Is Love" by the Beatles.


TAG! Your turn. Copy and paste - can't wait to read.

Who's Out There?

Exobiology is an interesting scientific pursuit. The crux of the research lies in finding life on other planets. But the life we're looking for is only physical - amino acids, building blocks, a fluid-based entity, carbon-based preferred?? It's all intriguing and arguably a noble cause.

But in a world where we don't even know the nature of our own existence, how can we possibly learn about others? And are there indeed forms of life we haven't allowed for?

I understand that this is where most staunch scientific types will start to roll their eyes or shake their heads (but who am I kidding, they don't read this blog!) - but what if we could prove, physically prove, life after death, or the limitless, undying energy or entities that occupy a different dimensional universe...

These are not beings that are based in the physical world. They aren't sacks of fluid. They don't reproduce (as far as I know)...

I know it doesn't count for much - but I had a very interesting dream back in January (you UFO fans might like this one).

I was in some kind of spaceship - "they" told me I had to go out "there" (meaning space) and handed me a breathing apparatus.

The minute I began breathing through it I was in space. Surrounded by blackness, except that I seemed to be traveling at light speed to a destination.

I approached a large planet - and surrounding the planet, TONS of spacecraft. I internally thought, wow, okay, I believe now (in E.Ts). It was an alien tailgate party of sorts. Weird.

But I quickly moved on - zooming through the universe, approaching and passing through huge, brilliantly colourful nebulae and clusters. And as I was zooming through space I got a little freaked out, because I kind of realized what was happening and I asked to go home. I asked for it to stop.

I HEARD (not just like you hear thoughts but a LOUD VOICE) saying something like 'deinitializing' and I couldn't wake up. I wanted to, but I was frozen. And suddenly in my head my mind was running through images of every bedroom I've ever had, like it was searching for the one I was currently in. It found it and I awoke.

And when I did - I considered for the first time maybe, that there really might be an entire community of physical beings out there who have achieved what we have not - interplanetary travel.

What do you think about the search for E.T.? Are we too limited in our definitions of "life"?

Where Is The Internet?

Above: A visualization of the various routes through a portion of the Internet.


John Edward said something when he was on Oprah that has really stuck with me lately, been ringing in my ears and making me think.

John Edward is best known as a medium - who achieved notoriety doing "live readings" as part of a TV show "Crossing Over with John Edward". But I know him mostly as a teacher, one who has taught me, through his Audio Book Set how to contact my spirit guides and speak with my loved ones who have "crossed".

But the thing that has stayed with me is what he said when Oprah asked him where the other side was - where the spirits were that he communicated with. He laughed and said he had asked his guides the same question and their reply had been this: where is the internet?

Where is the internet.

I love it. To me, that's a way cooler (and more accessible) koan than "what is the sound of one hand clapping?"

What a perfect metaphor, with energy exchange, instant communication and the connection of all people - the internet as a representation of our limitless existence in this life and beyond.

Making Lemonade

I was listening to CBC's radio program Tapestry this morning (via podcast) - it was about Harold Kushner's book Overcoming Life's Disappointments. In it, he discusses what happens to people whose dreams die or aren't fulfilled.

He's a rabbi, and so comes from a place of faith - which almost brings me back to my last post about the connection between faith and happiness, and how people of faith (any faith) tend to deal better with life's little upsets... but I will try to stick to what I really wanted to talk about.

There was a particularly insightful point he made about expectations. Just because you psych yourself up for something, doesn't mean it's meant to be. And sure, it might sting for a bit when it doesn't come to pass but, as he said - would you really want a life free of rejection?

At first glance you might think yes... but...

(I'm paraphrasing here but...) Would you want to be married to someone who was only married to you because they couldn't say no? Would you really want to be in the first job you ever interviewed for? Or still dating the first person you ever dated because they couldn't reject you?

For most of us, I'm guessing, the answer is clear. Thinking back, I can't imagine the horrible way my life would have worked out if I was still dating my first boyfriend, or working the first job I ever interviewed for coming out of school... I mean, yikes.

And in this light, I think the point is that as hard as things may be to understand in the moment, time illuminates the cosmic rationale behind all things.

I try (TRY) to have faith in those moments of rejection and disappointment, to remember that I am here for a reason and a purpose and that purpose will find me. And those rejections are nothing more than roadsigns pointing you back to your purpose, back to your path - because there is always something better coming around the corner.

So I dedicate this to a good friend who is going through a trying period at the moment and facing a lot of uncertainty. Be patient... the best is yet to come.

Delusional or Just Happy?

I get along just fine with atheists. I spend a large part of my life conversing with them. My mother is an atheist. My boss is an atheist. A lot of my friends don't believe in anything in particular and are unknowingly "agnostic".

Because I don't believe in proselytizing, I am always conscious and aware of how I talk when I'm talking to an atheist. It can be draining sometimes, the lack of belief in anything seems to me to be a very negative, cynical view.

This article came out yesterday addressing what I have been long sensing - That those of us who have faith in a greater order, a purpose-driven existance, are generally happier for it.

Using data from Britain and Europe, the study found believers enjoyed higher levels of satisfaction and suffered less psychological damage from unemployment, divorce or the death of a partner.

When I was little and I used to ask my mother what she believed in, she used to always say "I believe in myself". That is, she didn't want to believe that there was anyone else pulling the strings - it made her feel powerless.

And I have to thank her for sharing her empowerment. Because of it, I also refused to believe that "something else" was pulling my strings - and opted for a much more inclusive kind of spirituality, where free will ruled and I was a creative contributor, a valued member of a collective of powerful energies creating itself as goes along.

But even now, in the face of all of my "spiritual experiences" with precognition, the afterlife and psychic phenomena, my mom remains cautiously curious. She'd never outright admit to being intrigued, but she did sneak a peek at a few chapters of my Holographic Universe book while I napped on the plane the other day. I relish in piquing her curiosity. I would at least like to get her back to a point of asking questions again. I think she lost that thirst along the way...

I have no qualm with those who don't believe. Maybe it's not their purpose in this lifetime to believe. But I do wish that the religious and the atheists would stop quarreling about who is more delusional.

What is it about us that we so desperately want everyone to have the exact same human experience we do? Can't we accept the possibility that there is no absolute truth - or that there are perhaps multiple truths - all equally valid?

What do you think? Am I delusional?

Clap If You Believe...

I'm happily in a bubble of learning at the moment, experiencing a kind of spiritual growth-spurt - as I do once or twice a year. This usually involves a lot of reading, a lot of listening and if I'm lucky, a lot of learning.

My favourite part of the process is when two separate sources or pieces of information start overlapping to form a new insight. This is starting to happen.

I'm reading Mysticism and The New Physics and the author Michael Talbot was talking about the role of the observer, and discussing how they've found that reality is actually defined by the expectations of the observer - to the point that they should really be considered "participant", because there is no way to observe without changing the outcome of the experiment. This is similar to Lynne McTaggart's findings in The Intention Experiment

Taking this line of thought further, Talbot explores the multi-dimensional quantum universe, where it seems there is a great possibility that everything that can happen DOES happen. In a mind-breakingly bizarre twist, we not only create our own reality, but are constantly creating hundred of billions of other universes. Sounds like science fiction, sure, but knowing what I know so far about the quantum universe, 'there are more things, in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamed of in our philosophy.'

This all comes back to another insight I received, during a meditation, wherein I was asking my guide questions of all kinds. One question I asked was "what religion has it right" - and I suppose I was asking for guidance on which path I should personally follow. The answer was two-fold.

1) Religion doesn't matter - faith is the only thing that matters. What it is that you have faith in is of little consequence. That leap, that trust, is the cord that connects us to the divine.

2) Faith is love. To trust, to believe, whatever it is that you believe in, is seen as a cosmic act of love.

And then, the final piece of the puzzle - the Abraham-Hicks folks and their message that we are all creators. That our purpose in this life is quite simply to create. That through our thoughts we are unfolding the universe.

And then it hit me - with the power of a ton of bricks - that we are all right. Every interpretation of God, every believed prophet, every faith... it's all correct. It's all "creative" in the sense that we are creating God, perhaps in the same way that some believe God created us.

Our unique gift, as humans, is our gift of interpretation - our ability to shape ideas, to create that which feels right to us. Everyone does it - from the scientist who plays with established "rules" and discovers new wonders, to the poet, prophet who takes creed and makes it new again.

What if we are all creating God through our faith?

His head almost filled the fourth wall of her little room as he knelt near her in distress. Every moment her light was growing fainter; and he knew that if it went out she would be no more. She liked his tears so much that she put out her beautiful finger and let them run over it.

Her voice was so low that at first he could not make out what she said. Then he made it out. She was saying that she thought she could get well again if children believed in fairies.

Peter flung out his arms. There were no children there, and it was night-time; but he addressed all who might be dreaming of the Neverland, and who were therefore nearer to him than you think; boys and girls in their nighties, and naked papooses in their baskets hung from trees.

‘Do you believe?’ he cried.

Tink sat up in bed almost briskly to listen to her fate.

She fancied she heard answers in the affirmative, and then again she wasn’t sure.

‘What do you think?’ she asked Peter.

‘If you believe,’ he shouted to them, ‘clap your hands; don’t let Tink die.’

Many clapped.

Some didn’t.

A few little beasts hissed

Channeled Information

I've just recently started listening to the Abraham-Hicks people, interested in what all the hullabaloo was surrounding their Law of Attraction stuff. It's nothing I haven't heard before (but always a nice refresher).

What interests me most is the fact that the information is channeled.

This notion of channeling is strange to me. Not sure why. It isn't because I don't believe in non-physical entities, or that I think they can't communicate with us. It isn't because I don't believe that human beings can access those worlds in altered states of consciousness.

Edgar Cayce, Jane Roberts, Esther Hicks -  all people with great messages for us. Should we care about the medium (no pun intended)? Should we care whether or not they are in fact channeling the information? If we are all divine, which I believe we are, then we (as humans) are no less valuable as a source of information.

And if it's good information, should we really care whether or not their source is genuine? If the information helps us, transforms our lives... does it matter which side of the beyond it came from?

It should also be explained (for the uninitiated), that when Hicks channels the entity she calls Abraham, that she takes on a very bizarre Transylvanian accent. This presents a problem for me because I believe accents are of this world, not the other. Do I sincerely think that a Texan, after his or her soul leaves this earth will still retain his or her Southern drawl? No. I don't. This is partially why I take issue with Hicks' channeling of an Eastern European entity (especially considering that this is also a collective of non-physical entities, not a singular one).

The cynic in me can't help but want to scream out and tell her to cut it out. Like Britney slipping in and out of her British accent. It rings false. But another part of me feels a sort of compassion - perhaps she needs to put on this accent in order to access the part of herself that wants to teach, that wants to enlighten. If that is the case then who am I to question it? And what purpose would it serve to expose such a thing?

For those of you who are reading this but have never heard the Abraham-Hicks materials - it's worth looking into. Lots of interesting bits to chew on. That is, of course, if you can get past the accent..

Dreams in Technicolour

Had some lovely dreams last night - one: a musical.

I was in a large room filled with red plush couches and college-aged students. I was sitting with some friends and, bored, decided to stand up, put on a polka-dotted hat and start singing about stuff that was going on. Before I knew it, a friend stood up and started singing too - and then the whole of the room broke out into choreographed song and dance.

The second dream was maybe less theatrical, but very cool also. I was a student, living in a dorm. Between the dorm and the school was a forest one had to walk through. It was a dangerous forest. People had gone missing in that forest. A student I knew (or might have been me) had gone to the school initially for some subject, but had found her true calling instead. There was an aquarium on campus, and as she sat staring through the underground glass at an electric eel of sorts swimming through the crystal blue water she showed me what she was studying. It was the communication of all things through vibration. I witnessed as a sort of sonic boom rippled through the water like a cosmic fart from the eel. It was communicating.

What about you? Got a good dream to share? Please do!

What It's Like Being Hypnotized

First of all, I have to say that I was unsure about whether or not I could be hypnotized. We hear this all the time, that some people are "susceptible" and some just aren't. Was I one of those people? And if so, could the woman doing the talking plant all kinds of evil suggestions into my head - would I cluck like a chicken whenever someone said the word "cheese"?

The answer is a laughingly huge NO. It's not even close to that (and it's making me wonder about the people who DO cluck like chickens after the suggestion).

Being hypnotized is a lot like being in a deep state of meditation. The main difference I found, however, is that unlike meditation, where I often feel my body is frozen, immobile and heavy as lead - during hypnosis, I found that I was moving around quite a bit. I was gesturing with my hands, moving my head around, licking my lips and even shivering for a good portion of the hour.

I was aware of all of these things, but not aware of where I was - the room disappeared, as did the chair I was sitting on and the woman who spoke to me. Her voice was disjoint, and I forgot entirely about her, though I followed her instructions.

For me it was like I had been "beamed up" to outer space - a black void. And while I was there, I was also very much in my body. It's the closest I can explain to being in two places at once.

The first step was to go through a tunnel and "land" in your previous life's body. From there you focus on your shoes - and then the rest of the world forms around you.

While I remain skeptical about whether or not these were actual previous lives that I was visiting, it was a wonderfully creative and cathartic experience.


I first saw myself wearing hiking boots with blades on the bottom. As the details revealed themselves to me, my name was Ryan, I was a big burly man, part of an expedition somewhere up North. We were taking ice core samples and I was waiting with my team of two. I "remembered" that our base camp was about an hour's hike away and that we were going to be having steak for dinner.

As I fast forwarded - I saw the events preceding my death. A lecture at a university, I wasn't much older, and a heart attack on the lawn outside the class.

The following are the questions and answers that arose from this "experience" - the questions were being asked by the hypnotherapist.

From this higher perspective, what were the lessons you learned from this life?
• I learned about patience. To trust – to enjoy laughter.
What could you have done better?
• I was alone. I have regrets about not starting a family, not telling people I loved them.
What brought you the greatest happiness or fulfillment in the life?
• My work – making a difference in the world.
What did you earn or accomplish in that life that can help in your present life?
• To trust my instincts. Stop being a wuss….and go after what you want – suck it up.
Relay a message from your past-life self to your present-life self?
• You do get to love the way you want to love, just not in that life.
What task or activity could you perform in your current life that would help to heal and balance that memory?
• Get going..it all goes by too quickly.

The second part, or the second life that I experienced was that of a young girl named "Ayesha", roughly about seven years of age, living in a palace of sorts in India. My parents were important people, but not royalty. I was alone in a big ballroom, dancing and wishing I was outside in the market instead. The house and my family was stifling, my bedroom was bare, with not a toy in sight. I kept my only stuffed animal hidden under the bed "out of the way" and preferred spending my time helping in the kitchen, rather than with my stuffy parents.

I fast forwarded to another important event: my wedding. I was marrying an Indian man in a traditional sari - people were throwing flower petals at our rickshaw. My parents didn't approve the union - I had been promised to someone else. Fast forward again to my death, I was shot dead in a public square by military men.

What were the lessons you earned from this life?
• I learned to break free of what was expected of me. To understand that other people’s goals are not always what is right for me.
What message does your past-life self have to send to your present-life self?
• Happiness can’t be bought.

And so there it is... whatever it was, whether purely creative visualization or an actual "remembrance" - I think I provided me with some interesting insights and words of advice - and believe it or not, Ryan's advice to "stop being a wuss and go after what you want" was exactly the kick in the pants that I needed to make some decisions I had been humming and hawing over for over a year...

Apparently I only listen to myself if I'm saying things as my rugged Arctic explorer past self. Ha!

Trusting and Then Knowing

I've been having some adventures lately testing my own psychic waters. Part of the problem, I think, has always just been a trust issue. I don't trust my instincts, or at least I haven't in the past...

But lately this seems to be changing, and the more validation that comes my way, the more I trust.

Let's take the example of a couple weeks ago. I was sitting at work when out of the blue I 'felt' that a friend of mine was pregnant... and it soon became a knowing... and so I emailed her. She wrote me back to say that she was terribly busy and also pretty sure that she wasn't with child. Okay, so I was wrong. Or was I. I was slated to dine with another close friend that night who, the minute I saw her confessed that she was expecting. So I was right, just a little off about who it was...

I've been trying to trust those little intuitions as they come, but it gets a bit tricky sometimes when the ego gets in the way... you might want something to happen and that feeling can sometimes get in the way of the truth.

And so, I'm putting this one out there, because it's important to me that I be honest about my predictions. And a prediction isn't worth anything unless you put it out there for scrutiny.

So here's the story..

My sister-in-law is pregnant and desperate to deliver already. She, however, isn't due for another two weeks. She can't wait to meet her little man. I thought maybe I could help her by touching base with the little guy on the other side and asking him when he was planning on coming.

So I meditated, met up with my spirit guide Rose and asked if I could have a chat with my nephew. She brought him along and I asked when he was coming. He held up his hand in a peace sign, meaning two. I had a strong feeling that that meant 2 days.

*UPDATE* My sister-in-law is feeling a little funny in her lower abdomen... today might be the day (and really, if the baby comes anytime between today or tomorrow I'll get my validation!!)

**UPDATE** My sister-in-law has gone into labour and will be delivering on Valentine's Day. Her labour started exactly 2 days and 3 hours after my 'meet' with the little man on the other side. Hallelujah! Validation! And a nephew! Too exciting..

Revisiting the Past

As we speak I'm booking myself a past-life hypnosis session, not really knowing what to expect - trying not to get my expectations up too high. I'm not even sure if I believe in hypnosis, but I'm sure that I do believe in reincarnation and I know for sure that I've been around the block a few times.

I talk sometimes about the one little experiment I did in past-life regression... with a weird audio tape I got off the internet. With it, I "revisited" two very interesting lives (or at least I think I did - it was like being in a waking dream, so I hardly know what to make of it).

The first 'memory' I dug up I was as an old pioneer woman. It was very vivid. I was in the kitchen, sitting at the table, my daughter was cooking me food and my grandson was running around wildly. I fast-forwarded to my death, where I died peacefully in my bed, my grown daughter holding my hand.

I guess on some level I believe that each life we live does somehow contribute to who we are, what we're made of, what we can endure and what pushes our buttons. I think there are scars left over from previous lives that aren't quite healed. I think if we could at least get an idea as to what came before we might be able to choose differently for ourselves this time around... those who don't study the past are likely to repeat it, right?

I guess I'm applying those principles to myself. I'm kind of excited to see what came before. And I'm hoping that it's not all just a bunch of hooey.

Time Well Spent

A big warm hello to those of you who continue to stumble upon my blog (thanks to synchronicity no doubt)... I have been away from posting for a while, but with good reason (promise!).

Something's a brewin'... and it'll be great and big and exciting. This blog is moving to a new medium (hint hint). I urge you to subscribe to the RSS feed and be the first to know when everything is up and running.

In the meantime, I'd like to wish all of you a happy new year (and a happy upcoming Chinese New Year on Feb. 7).

If you're in the need of a little extra luck in this, the Chinese Year of the Rat, here's a few superstitions you can try on for size:

- Clean house the day on (Chinese) New Year's Eve - do NOT clean on day of.
- Replace sheets
- Do not wash hair on 7th (you'll wash away your good luck)
- Bust out your red sweater - red is auspicious on the 7th.
- Listen to the first words said to you that day, they will be significant in relation to your fortune for the year.
- Don't lend anyone money on the 7th and try to have all (or most) debts paid.
- Avoid talking about death or dying (no ghost stories on the 7th).
- Eat sweets to ring in a sweet new year
- Open your windows to let in good luck and let out the old year
- No pointy objects! Stay away from knives and scissors or you'll cut your fortune away (same goes for hairdresser - big no-no).